our-yoga

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Ta

Just under a month I've been back home after an intense and transformational summer in Mysore, India. As always it took me a while to land and digest all that transpired, and in many ways I feel as if I am still digesting. I know transformational is a word that is thrown around a lot these days, and the only way to describe it is something shifted, for better or worse, who knows. I felt challenged on every level, mentally, emotionally, physically and most definitely spiritually. I cried this summer more than I had in a long time. I was broken down to be built back up. A toning from the inside out. A reckoning. The buzz of practicing there has just about worn off. It seems like the more you hold on to it the faster it goes. At the same time there is an inkling of a light that has been lit and the knowing it won't ever burn out.

Having the opportunity to immerse oneself in the way that we did this past summer was an opportunity of a life time, and really every trip I feel it, but this was on another level. I am always so grateful to have the time and space to focus on practice, ultimately focusing on the truer parts of life. I need these reminders. If I didn't I would be lost. It all goes back to the quality we lead in our hearts and minds in day to day living. Thankfully the practice of yoga helps to lead us there.

Moving forward there is so much that comes to mind. It is so easy to be swept away by the rhythm of our rushed society. I'm learning not to be so dictated by it. I too see how distracted I can be and how challenging it is to maintain this internal connection, but no one said it would be easy. It comes down to one's thirst for ultimate freedom as I contemplate what is that really? What does that look like? I'm getting the tiniest sense of it and yet it feels exciting and scary at the same time. Funny how that works. It's like balancing on the edge of a razor. 

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“Love is a tremendous caring that arises in the wake of transcending the personal self. In the wake of this transcendence, something amazing arises. A deep love and caring arises from within emptiness, from nowhere. This love and caring seeks only the Truth in every moment and in all circumstances. True love is something far greater than anything that could be called personal. True love is a non-personal miracle. It is the nature of reality itself. It is the natural and spontaneous expression of the undivided Self.”

(Adyashanti)

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"What is to give light must first endure burning"  

(Victor Frankel)

Sādhanā is often referred to as spiritual practice. However, much more is intertwined in the term and has been one of the main themes of the course here in Mysore this summer. In another light, sādhanā is our own masterpiece we create to connect to the Divine. This in turn takes consistent effort and determination and by no means comes easy and at the same time is a worthwhile endeavor that gives more everlasting happiness and fulfillment than we could ever imagine, but first, there is a climb. Each step reaching us closer to the goal while playing with the paradox of detachment.

Sādhanā is also viewed as an ego transcending practice. The goal being liberation and freedom from bondage (samāra). The steps take daily effort where in my case includes regular asana practice, pranayama, and self study and also evening japa, prayer and/or chanting. Tapas (the effort to achieve self-realization) comes in those days where the warmth and comfort of the bed tells us better to stay put but instead we throw the covers off and take the necessary steps toward the mat. Tapas can also be viewed as discipline, an important ingredient in cultivating one's sādhanā.

The practitioner is referred to as a sādhaka, an aspirant. One who skillfully applies the learned rituals and practices, uniting body, mind and soul toward the spiritual goal. A sādhaka is dutifully committed and enthusiastic, though that can wax and wane in the beginning, and doubt part of the path for some, overtime the wavering ceases as the sādhanā strengthens and becomes a way of life. The important part being the intention behind it, something R. Sharath Jois has stressed time and time again this summer. Simply bending the body and/or going through the motions of ritual with no internal reflection often bring fruitless results. Another word for this heart/mind intention is bhāvanā. Bhāvanā can be thought in terms of planting seeds. Our sādhāna makes for fertile ground but what seeds will we plant?

"The practice of yoga, as a whole, is a profound science of internal purification which leads practitioners very gradually to the realization of the non-difference between the jīvātma, or indwelling Self of the individual, and the paramātma, or Universal Self. For this to occur, a proper intention and direction of energies needs to be established from the outset of a practice; in Sanskrit, this is known as 'bhāvana.'"     

(Sri K. Pattabhi Jois, Sūryanamaskāra)

The thirst needs to be there. Yes, there may be days we feel apathetic; however, the beauty of our sādhāna is what it is pointing us to. This keeps it alive. It must stay alive within us. We must fan the flames. Each day carving out our masterpiece of transformation. The beauty being, no amount of effort is wasted. Each step, leading toward illumination.

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It's hard to believe our trip here to Mysore is already more than half way over. Like I always say, coming here feels like being in a time warp. The days go by at rapid pace and yet a deep sense of feeling at home in the practice sink in, as if I've been here for much longer. It comes at no surprise and yet it always startles me in a way. The monsoon rains have given opportunity for internal reflection and is indicative of my time here. There are periods of darkness within, a pouring out, a purging as one could say, and then the clouds part, the sun shines, drying up all that was washed away. To then see things in a new light, a new perspective. I feel filled up. I also have sense of what new areas that are present for new growth. Ever endless. An exciting opportunity to peel new layers of existence to the surface. It must not go wasted.

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Mysore, India

Just rounding out our third week in Mysore. The weather has been touch and go with bouts of daily rain and glimpses of sunshine. Most trips have been during the winter months, usually December/January. The last time I was in Mysore during monsoon was in 2007. I like it here during this time of year. It's still warm but not stifling with refreshing breezes. The rains clean the air. The dryer months are lovely too with endless sunshine. Mysore is like an oasis.

Practice has been running rather deep. With it being Friday I can feel it. A good tired. Like everything has been rung out of the body at an intense level. There are lapses in the practice where I feel as if I have no more to give but somehow I make it through anyway. More than a physical challenge it's a mental one. No matter how high the climb all you can do is take it one breath at time.

As the toughness of my practice arises there is an opportunity to dig deeper inside. To be in it, fully. Not wanting to be anywhere else.

Leaning in. Letting go.

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Finished our second week of the course, starting our third. There has been a gradual build up which has been nice. It reminds me how important it is to simply deepen the areas already visited many times before, exploring each movement with a fresh open mind. Coming to our mats with a beginners mindset everyday brings it alive. It's a way of being present within everything. More postures don't always bring maturity in the practitioner. Doesn't matter how fancy or complicated they are. It can be a feast for the eyes but the true beauty is the intentional mindset of the one who inhabits the posture. An alignment of what this practice points us to. Being here has continued to re-establish the beauty of this tradition and also the brevity of it. There is lightness in it. It brings us to the light. We can't cling to it, we can only dwell in it, because we are it.

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Ashtanga Yoga Retrea 

with Mark Robberds and Laruga Glaser

Purple Valley

Goa, India

20 December - 2 January 2015 

Course Description
The morning classes will be Mysore style under the guidance of Mark and Laruga. If required we will divide the group into those who already have an established self-practice, and beginners/and or those who are require assistance to learn the sequence. The afternoon classes will include a discussion on the essentials of yoga philosophy as well as valuable time for questions and answers with Mark and Laruga about the many layered aspects of the practice. This will be followed by various workshop themes which both Mark and Laruga will teach. Examples of these workshops are: Core techniques for developing the Primary Series, vinyasa/strength/arm balances, introduction to the second series, backbending and everyday essential hip openers, exploration of yoga breathing and developing a sitting meditation practice. These workshops will be multi-level and no matter what stage of the practice you are at they will be rewarding and insightful.

For more information and booking visit:
www.yogagoa.com

we recommend you to buy some goods below for comfort, safety and ease of your yoga activities

we recommend you to buy some goods below for comfort, safety and ease of your yoga activities

we recommend you to buy some goods below for comfort, safety and ease of your yoga activities

we recommend you to buy some goods below for comfort, safety and ease of your yoga activities

Outside KPJAYI

"It would be easier to roll up the entire sky into a small cloth than it would be to obtain true happiness without knowing the Self."  

(Upanishads)

I'm in Mysore. In the mist of rounding out my 3rd week today. My 7th trip and as always feels as if I'm coming into something new. I like to be in a space of discovery and exploration within the practice. It takes the edge off. It is important to touch, taste and feel every part of the experience. Even those challenging bits we find ourselves in on occasion. At this point settling in happens with ease but the practice in the shala is always full of surprises. Whether pleasant or unpleasant, witnessing the process of unfolding allows me to sit in a place of neutrality and observation. Understanding what is in and out of my control I can then ride the wave of energy that no matter what courses strong in the room like a steady march.

There have been so many things I have been contemplating lately. The process we all go through from time to time most certainly ebbs and flows in life and recently I have been feeling a flow. So many impressions and mental processes have come to light that sometimes it has been overwhelming. Within all of this I continue to place my heart in the center of it all. With countless hours of practice and study under my belt I am beginning to realize and lean on the simplicity of what it all culminates to. Can I love more openly? Can I live more open heartedly? How often do I rest on my fears and close? Do I extend a hand to the unfamiliar? Am I kind? Because it doesn't matter how many trips I make to Mysore and it doesn't matter how may complicated asanas I can do, if I don't open to the truth it is pointless.

I desire to push myself inside the unknowingness of it all. To look at everything with new eyes. To even come to my mat with a new perspective and curiosity. Because if I place too much importance on structure and the familiar I'm as good as dead, and ultimately building my spiritual home on sand. It isn't easy and sometimes you are stricken for it, but then again, everyone who has done anything of significance came to realize these challenges. Sometimes the path we take isn't accepted by the masses. The truth speaks ever so clearly and the courage to rise up to it can show itself in a myriad of ways. With this realization I can honor various paths and experiences and see the beauty in it all. No matter what differences that stand between, when understanding the truth, all walls tend to crumble.  

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Outside KPJAYI

Mysore. Is it Magic? Yes, but not magic in the way you may think. Often I don't realize what is in the process of developing or what has been ignited until I leave. Something is always working just below the surface and can manifest in ways that may surprise, delight or even scare you, because truly it is about the unknown. I always find it interesting when listening to the criticism in regards to practicing at the source. Practicing here has a way of mirroring our own inner turmoil and then people blame the place. Be happy that it does because that is where the awareness can begin to shine it's wisdom upon our blocks and projections. Within that a new freedom can be found. I've had practices where I have felt shattered and broken, and often those are the best lessons that can be learned and experienced. If it wasn't worth it then I don't think I would continually feel the call to go back no matter how arduous the work is. Work that gives, and exposes, internally washing away the chains of conditioning. 

You may ask why go then? Good question. Why? Well, I will tell you. It is like no other place to practice. May sound like a canned answer with no depth and meaning behind it, but really it is as simple as that. At first you don't even realize how deep it begins to work under the watchful eye of R. Sharath Jois, but words can't really begin to illustrate fully, and I'm not sure I am prepared to try. However, in the same light, to describe practicing at KPJAYI as about unicorns and rainbows is a fallacy. Simply put, it is what it is. What arises will be your lesson and your lesson alone. The thing that is most interesting is the intensity of practice has a way of aggravating what we cling to. We then have the opportunity to see what no longer serves us and the definitive change begins only when we decide to lean into those areas through what arises. If we continue to practice and ignore, then we still live in the same delusion. However, that in itself can be a lesson. When traveling somewhere to simply focus on practice is yes, in a sense, a luxury, but one that gives an opportunity to reduce our worldly distractions and responsibilities for a block of time to then tune into our internal landscape facilitated by the energy and focus generated in the room.  Simply put, it feels amazing to be a part of it. 

Another thing to remember is the community that encapsulates all when in Mysore reaches not only far and wide, but deep, colored by a vast array of cultures and backgrounds enriches the experience of being there. Much can be learned not only on and off the mat but also how we interrelate and learn from each other as students and stewards of this amazing process. My recommendation is to soak it up.

There will always be spinmakers and haters who will plant a seed of doubt about it all. Funny how some of the biggest critics who say it isn't for them have never stepped foot inside KPJAYI. 
It is important to remember that it's not about getting or attaining something, it's about realization and recognition. I think that can be the frustrating part for those who feel they need an immediate payback, understanding or experience. All I can say is what develops is priceless. It's so much more than receiving a magical adjustment or given validation. Here you strengthen what cannot be seen with the naked eye. Never once has Sharath or being in the presence of Guruji when he was alive (however one could say he is very much alive there), have I gotten the impression that asana is of most importance. Quickly and clearly one learns just how minimal it is and in the same light how important the ritual becomes and the attentive awareness we open to as we touch a bigger and greater part of ourselves. The magic. 

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"Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts.  Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things cannot be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the earth all one's lifetime."

Mark Twain

Yesterday afternoon, I was trying to get some work done at this coffeeshop that I usually go to, when I got distracted by the sight of a couple of young people playing chess at a nearby table (this has happened before; see this post). I quickly convinced myself (rightly or wrongly) that I needed to take a break from work, and went over to them and asked if they wouldn't mind me watching their game. They did not mind, and I ended up watching the game, and then playing a couple of very good games with them.

During and after the games, we got into a conversation about traveling around the world. It turns out that one of my companions, a young woman who is probably in her mid-twenties, has traveled quite a bit; she regaled us with stories of her travels in Prague, Paris, and a few other cities in Europe whose names I do not remember now. We then got into an interesting comparison of different attitudes that Europeans and Americans have towards such social "evils" as drugs and alcohol consumption.

Not to be outdone, I decided to draw from my own store of stories about the world to add to the conversation. Somehow, without realizing it, I found myself relating the stories about Mysore that I had heard and read from people like Claudia and Kino. In particular, I noticed my companions' eyes lighting up when I related stories about brownouts and water outages in Mysore, and about how one needs to really plan one's water usage when in India. I suppose my companions must have found these stories compelling because they offer a valuable glimpse into a world that is so unlike the sort of relative affluence that I imagine they must have been accustomed to, both at home and in their own travels.

Which is all well and good, except that none of these India stories with which I was regaling my friends were my own; as you probably know, I have yet to make it to Mysore. Of course, being the, ahem, yogic person that I am, I was quick to own up to this fact. Immediately after telling these stories, I also told my friends that these stories were passed on to me from friends and teachers who have been to India, and that none of these stories are my own ("I am full of India stories, none of which are my own!" was what I said; which drew a chuckle.).

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Hiding in this cage

of visible matter

is the invisible life bird

pay attention to her

she is singing your song

- Kabir

When in India I had the opportunity to have a Vedic astrology reading done and my palm read. I had been curious about it, but never seriously looked into it over my pervious trips. When the opportunity arose, I decided, what the heck. The palm was easy, I just handed it over, and began to wonder where do you even begin when reading someone's palm? Mr. V. looked it over with a keen eye, even studying certain spots with scrutiny. For a moment, a twinge of nervousness arose, wondering if he would find something that caused alarm. The mind, it can always take us down the path of the dramatic. The information given was interesting and affirming. I even laughed out loud a few times. Whoa. All that is written all over my palm? Much of the information hit close to home. 

Vedic astrology is different from the conventional astrological readings done in the west. Both have merit just different approaches. I don't really stock my life on these readings and do them more out of curiosity, while finding a thread of truth in the saying "as above so below," I take it as something that hits closer to home than we realize, but in the same breath, there is always the element of connection that goes beyond even the external realities of the stars. I just try to be open to what these practices have to offer. Nowadays, we are acutely out of touch with our surrounding environment. The ancients held the stars in high regard and forecasted a multitude of knowledge and wisdom. 

In my reading I had to calculate the time of my birth in Indian time. That's the difference, first off. Instead of using the time, date, and location of my birth, the time only is adjusted to Indian time. I was offered interesting information and was also given a forecast for the year, as well as, offered advice moving forward. For one, I was told Thursday is my day to deeply connect with the divine. I liked this. Sure everyday we should make an effort to connect but to have a special day that holds resonance to my astrological make up was something I had never heard of before. When it comes to the other stuff, I'll hold it close to me. It's nothing too earth shattering anyway, but if I am to step into a grow period that awaits, I need to be ready and connected, so I'll take the advice to heart. It certainly can't hurt. 

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That Atman alone, that state of simplest form of awareness alone, is worthy of seeing, hearing, contemplating, and realizing.  - Upanishads

It's interesting, I've made a number of trips to Mysore, thankfully, and each time I come I feel extremely grateful. It isn't always easy to make the trip, but it always ends up being worth it. At the same time, I'm reminded on what is important in terms of coming here.

Reminiscent of preparing to make my first trip I was offered worthy guidance from a senior teacher, who will remain nameless. He told me don't get caught up in how many times you go or for how long, or for how many years, because often people use that as a marker to mean they have reached something higher and all that doesn't matter. What matters is right now. That doesn't takeaway from the experiences; the good times, the bad times, the pain and the breakthroughs. And with all that, it still goes back to the point we sit in in each moment in our practice.

Each time I come to Mysore it brings a different energy. I am always fascinated by this. A new layer. Something new to contemplate or develop. As I lean into discomfort on and off the mat new freedom is found. It's in these definitive moments that hold a world of value. Believe me, I don't always step into discomfort with grace. I have experienced aggravation, and unimaginable lows and I've learned it never really serves me to sweep these feelings under the rug no matter how uncomfortable they are. This is the fuel transformation is made of. All of it serves a purpose in the greater scheme of things. 

Over the years with more conscious practice under my belt I realize the importance of not taking the whole process too seriously, and at the same time, I feel more inspired and devoted as ever. It has been a big step for me to laugh at my follies and internal weaknesses to then be able to pick up the pieces more joyfully, versus judging where I think I need to be in the moment. What does it mean to be a yogi or to tread this path? I often ask myself. Within my limited understanding, in my heart I feel it means being true to whatever arises, banishing the fear and judgement that may present itself from me and others. The search for validation on any level has always been paralyzing. 

If I stay true to my heart space, even when the mind revolts, at least I've taken a leap worth jumping for. 

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Last night I had a prolific dream. Vivid, scary and in your face. I guess all this talk of 12.21.12 seeped into my subconscious because this dream was like no other. I'm talking massive earthquakes where the Earth itself was splitting apart, buildings were being shook off their foundation, and people were in a massive panic. I felt this primal instinct to run for higher ground versus being sucked down into these massive cracks in the Earth. I made it out. I didn't think. I just went with my gut. 

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"He whose happiness is within, whose contentment is within, whose light is all within, that yogi, being one with Brahman, attains eternal freedom in divine consciousness."  

(Bhagavad-Gita)

Shattered. That pretty much describes my practice today, and I wouldn't want to be any other way. I love practicing here. If I'm not willing to meet my edge then what's the point? 

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