our-yoga

Haven't been able to get myself to post here at all the last few weeks (wonder why?). It's only now, when I am procrastinating about doing something unpleasant (hint: what do college teachers do a lot of during midterm?), that I finally decided that writing a blog post is probably a little bit less unpleasant than having to do what I am procrastinating about doing.

Since this is supposed to be an Ashtanga blog, I suppose I'll start by saying a few things about my practice. Over the last couple of weeks, I have increased the number of second series postures in my practice while scaling back on primary. Here's the story: After coming back from Lino's Montana workshop last month, I incorporated half tick-tocks into my practice (see previous posts for more details on this). After a few days of doing this, it occurred to me that if I am strong enough to do half tick-tocks, I am probably strong enough to re-incorporate a whole bunch of second series postures back into my practice. Well, here's a little background story: when I moved to Idaho earlier this year, I scaled my practice all the way back to primary only in order to avoid injury. Since then, I have added back a few second series postures, but only up to Ardha Matsyendrasana.

But anyway, after I "received" the half tick-tocks from Lino last month, I started feeling like I might be up to doing more second series postures. I emailed Kino to ask for her opinion on this. She said that if I was feeling energetic after doing whatever I was doing at that point in my practice (which I was), that meant that I was ready to add on more postures. She suggested adding up to Pincha Mayurasana while at the same time scaling back to doing only half-primary in order to focus more on second series. 

So for the last two weeks, I have been following her suggestion, and doing half-primary followed by second up to Pincha. The first few days of this new practice were very interesting (well, actually, it still is, but that's another story). The first couple of days, I had to relearn how to balance in Pincha after not having done it for a year: The first day, for instance, I only managed to find my balance in Pincha on the fourth try.

But the biggest challenge thus far is probably Tittibhasana B. The first couple of days, I found that I couldn't bind in this pose. I consulted Kino about this, and wondered if this was due to added adipose tissue (as Gregor Maehle would put it). But somehow I didn't think that weight/girth was the issue: I can bind both sides in Mari D and Pasasana. Kino suggested that I work on lengthening across the shoulder girdle in the Marichyasanas: She thought it possible that a whole year of doing mainly primary series may have strengthened my rotator cuffs (which is great) at the expense of shoulder flexibility (which may be not so great). So I did accordingly, and tried to visualize my shoulder girdle lengthening across my leg when binding in the Marichyasanas.

The results have been mixed thus far. On "good" days like this morning, I can bind in Tittbhasana B (only at the fingers, wrist-clasping no coming yet...). On not-so-good days, I simply resign/accept the fact that the bind is not going to happen, and I walk up and down five times, looking very silly and foolish while doing so. Well, I suppose this means you won't get to see a video of me in Tittibhasana B anytime soon. But no worries. As some famous Cylon once said, "Do your practice, and all is coming."

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As you can tell, I haven't posted much on this blog (or any other blog) lately. Have I been busy? Well, yes, in a manner of speaking. I have been reading quite a bit lately, and busy turning my attention inwards in that way. Specifically, I have been rereading Heidegger's Being and Time (the last time I read it was many years ago, in grad school) in preparation for my class on Existentialism in the spring, which I will be teaching for the first time. I can't really explain it well, but there's just something about reading B&T that makes me very pensive and contemplative and inward-turning, causing me to minimize my present-at-hand relations with the world. And you have to admit that writing a blog is a very present-at-hand kind of activity, at least for me. Oh, I guess I haven't explained what "present-at-hand" is. But in order to explain what presence-at-hand means, I would have to get into a present-at-hand relationship with presence-at-hand (does this give you a hint of its nature?). And I don't feel like doing this now.

Suffice to say that there is just something about reading a text very carefully, deliberately and slowly that causes a kind of inward turning in the reader; or at any rate, in this reader. There does not seem to be much to show for all this inward turning, at least for now. But well, it is what it is.

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As I mentioned a few posts ago, I have scaled back my practice to primary only for the next few weeks, in order to energetically adjust myself for my move to Idaho.

Some people may see going back to primary only as taking a step back in the practice, but this is incorrect. If nothing else, going back to doing primary only can be an invaluable "reset" button that enables one to clear up whatever sloppy technique/faffiness/spiritual-physical gunk that may have accumulated from not paying enough attention to the basics. In any case, any sort of significant progress can only occur through a period of "stepping back" and consolidation.

I have discovered in my case that nowhere is this more true than with backbends. As you know, if you are doing primary only, the only backbends you get to do are the finishing backbends, plus dropbacks and standups. Now there has been a lot of debate recently in the Ashtanga blogosphere about whether it is a good thing for teachers to insist that students be able to drop back and stand up before going on to second. Many people have made the argument that this no-second-before-standing-up-from-backbending rule (let's call this "NSBSU" from now on) is not a sound rule, because some of the first few backbends of second series may actually help the student to find the muscles that she needs in order to stand up from a backbend.

I personally think there is some merit to this argument. I myself was moved on to second by my teacher before I could stand up from dropping back: If I remember correctly, I was actually able to grab my heels in Kapo by myself before I could find the necessary muscles to stand up from dropping back.

But over the last few days, as I restricted my backbends to Urdhva Dhanurasanas and dropbacks and standups, I began to see that there is a certain beauty to NSBSU. Here's why: If you have to go into UDs and dropbacks immediately from primary, your body (and mind) doesn't have the luxury of relying on the first few second series backbends to open up your body for you. In other words, you don't have the luxury of thinking: Okay, I have all these nice gentle second series backbends (except Kapo, of course) to open up my body for me, so I can, you know, relax a little, and let these backbends do the work for me.

I suspect that too many of us have a tendency to think this way, and, in this way, to use these second series backbends as a sort of psychological crutch. And as you know, in yoga practice, whatever happens on the psychological level inevitably translates into something on a physical level. Which also leads me to suspect that more often than not, this kind of "relax a little" mindset leads one to execute the second series backbends in a sloppy fashion (a possibility made all the more tempting by the fact that you are lying prone on the mat...). Which leads to one getting less out of these backbends, and possibly even to injury.

I'm not making any sort of categorical claim that it is impossible to do the second series backbends without sloppiness. Rather, I'm just speaking from my recent experience here. As I was saying, over the last few days of doing primary only, I've realized that if you have to go into UD straight from primary, you pretty much have to do a lot of work right away to bring as much of the backbend into the upper-back (by bringing your shoulders over your elbows) and into your quads and psoas, because you only have three UDs before you have to drop back and stand up. No time or space to mess around. I discovered that because I had to do so much work in so short a time, my backbends felt more open, and there was this delicious burning sensation in my thighs from all this work (for more details on this sweet delicious burning sensation, see this post). Which makes for a very satisfactory and fulfilling backbend practice, all in all.

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First, a little video eye-candy. I'm not particularly big on posting yoga videos, especially videos of people doing handstands. I know lots of people out there are fascinated with handstands, but honestly, I've never really understood this fascination. Don't really know why; I guess I just don't get what's so magical about being able to lift your feet all the way above your head without support; I mean, aren't there enough things to work on within the practice already? Besides, I often have this suspicion that people who make handstand videos are really just looking for an excuse to, well, show off their asana prowess in a gratuitous kind of way (btw, is there such a thing as non-gratuitous showing off? Hmm...).

Or maybe I just have a bad case of sour grapes. But in any case, there are handstand videos, and then there are handstand videos. The following handstand video that Kino recently made in Bali is so well-shot (the peaceful surroundings, the sound of water flowing from the stone buddhas, etc.) that even I have to suspend my usual non-fascination with handstand videos. It's definitely in a class of its own. Check it out:

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It seems that I can never say enough about Kapotasana; actually, talking about Kapo seems to be becoming my default thing to do when I find myself running out of yoga-related things to blog about... well, actually, there are a few very interesting things happening at work right now that are yoga-related in a very bizarre kind of way. But I try as much as possible not to talk about work directly on this blog, and I have yet to find a way to talk about these interesting things indirectly. So... let's just talk about Kapo.

I recently wrote about how Kapo seems to be becoming more difficult for me, probably as a result of the shoulder-strengthening/tightening effects of adding the three leg-behind-head postures to my second series practice. It turns out that the solution to this issue is, quite simply, patience and time. And I mean this in two ways. First, as many of you out there who do second series know, the shoulder-tightening effects of the LBH postures and the arm-balances (i.e. the infamous Karandavasana) is supposed to be temporary, and one should, ideally, get back the depth of one's backbend in time. So if one just continues to practice jusdiciously and carefully, the shoulders or whatever-it-is-that-is-tight should open up with patience and time.

But there is also a second, more immediate sense in which one can apply patience and time to the practice of Kapotasana at a time like this: Simply hang in the posture for a few breaths (or more) longer, rather than dive for the feet right away. This is what I have been doing over the last week or so. On most days, I would hang for up to 10 breaths and bring as much awareness as possible to the mid/upper back at the same time. I would only go for the feet when I can see at least one of my feet in my field of vision (ideally, I should be able to see both of my feet all the time, but I think my mild scoliosis causes my back to open up unevenly, so that one side of the back opens up more than the other. At any rate, this is my theory...).

The interesting thing about hanging in the posture longer like this is that when I actually go for the feet, I can pretty much get the heels right away, without having to grab the toes or mid-soles first and then walk the hands to the heels. I have also noticed that hanging in the posture longer allows me to lengthen and stabilize the breath more, so I am not huffing and puffing like a cow (although I am still not as at ease as Kino was in that video I posted last week...).

Yesterday, I even tried speaking to the cockatiels while holding my heels in Kapo, and I am pleased to report that my voice actually came out sounding quite normal and even. Which is a big improvement from a couple of years ago... I can still remember when I first started doing Kapo a couple of years ago: I was in the posture at my teacher's shala in Milwaukee. Somebody on the other side of the room saw me in the pose and said to me, "Nice work!" I said "Thank you!" in response, and was horrified when my voice came out as this weird-sounding croak (who knew that Kapo can turn you into a frog?). Which elicited a big laugh from everybody in the room. Yes, I sometimes double as the class clown when I'm in a shala (usually without intending to...)

So yeah, patience and time is the solution to tightness in Kapo (and probably to many other things as well...).   

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During this morning's practice, I began my journey of incrementally splitting my practice (for more details, see this post). I was originally planning on waiting a couple more weeks to allow my shoulder to be really rested and to regain its strength before beginning this journey. But during practice this morning, my shoulders and upper body in general felt strong, and the whole body felt quite open. So I thought: Why not today? I'm guessing that if I were practicing in Mysore, Sharath would probably hold off for a couple more weeks (restraining the ego, and all that good stuff). But I'm not practicing in Mysore; heck, I have this feeling that I might be one of those people who get held back in Primary forever if I were in Mysore (ego too strong...). So all this speculation is totally moot.

But anyway, since I'm not in Mysore, I find myself doing some of second in addition to primary. This morning, I took the first step on my incermental splitting plan: I dropped Setubandhasana from primary, going straight into Pasasana from Urdhva Mukha Paschimottanasana, and added Ekapada Sirsasana after Ardha Matsyendrasana. This is the first time I have "officially" put my leg behind my head (not counting Supta Kurmasana) in a year. It felt... interesting. There was a nice stretch in the hamstrings, especially the right hamstring. Which totally makes sense, from a purely physiological point of view, since the backbends in second series (especially Laghu and Kapotasana) tend to have a contracting and shortening effect on the hamstrings. So putting the leg behind the head in Ekapada Sirsasana stretches them back out.

Of course, as those of you out there who practice second series know, the effects of second series is more than just physical: Energetically, putting the leg behind the head has the effect of continuing the extension and pulling up of the energy that was initiated by the backbends. But I can't really talk about any of this now, since I am very much a neophyte as far as second series is concerned. We'll see how this incermental splitting journey unfolds from this point :-)  

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During practice on Tuesday and Wednesday mornings, I re-introduced the second series backbends into my practice for the first time in two weeks, since I injured my left knee a couple of weeks ago. After not having done these backbends for a couple of weeks, they feel different in my body. Especially Laghu Vajrasana and Kapotasana. It appears that I haven't lost any backbending flexibility: I am still getting my heels in Kapotasana. But the feeling in these backbends is different now from what it was before two weeks ago. On both days, I felt this powerful pulling stretchy sensation in my quads (almost painful, but not quite) in both Laghu and Kapo. On Tuesday, I also felt this achy sensation in my thoracic spine after coming out of Kapo. I think these are good signs: It seems that whatever it was that was hurting my knee is somehow also making my front body work harder. Which also makes me wonder: Is whatever it is that is hurting the left knee related to some kind of front-back muscular balance in my body?

In any case, as a result of this re-introduction of backbends into my practice, I have been walking around with sore quads these last couple of days. I think that means I walk around with legs that are more extended, with less bend at the knees (because bending the knees more when you walk also activates the quads more, I think). I don't think anybody around me is actually noticing anything about the way I walk ;-) But hey, I much prefer walking around with sore quads than trying to walk with painful knees; the latter is very not fun.

As for the left knee, I am cautiously optimistic that it is getting better. During yesterday's practice, I took a chance, and got into the finishing lotuses with the left leg first. The sensation in the knee as I folded the left leg into lotus was more of an intense achy sensation than a sharp pain, and it passed after about a second in lotus. This seems to me a good sign that something is healing. But I should probably be more cautious here, and try to follow Megan's "any sensation is too much sensation" mantra. It's just that I'm always curious as to how far I can move things without hurting myself; and sometimes, as they say, curiosity kills the cat :-)

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Did full primary this morning. Having made the switch (i.e. split) to doing second only and doing primary just once a week for a few weeks now, I now notice some interesting things about primary:

(1) Primary is actually more challenging on the muscular-skeletal level. Well, actually, second is also very challenging on the muscular-skeletal level: All those backbends in second definitely work the muscles of the front-body and the ribcage, and Karandavasana... well, need I say more? :-) But I guess what I'm trying to say is that primary works the gross muscular-skeletal structure more exclusively, especially with all those vinyasas. And I sweat way more in primary than in second. Which might also mean that primary is more challenging on the cardio-vascular level. But the interesting thing is that even though I sweat more in primary and feel my gross muscular-skeletal structure being worked more, I am actually able to maintain a fairly even breath throughout all of primary. Whereas I am always super-winded when I exit Karandavasana in second. So it is possible for something to work your cardio-vascular system less (at least if measured solely in terms of amount of perspiration) and yet demand more on the level of the breath. Interesting, don't you think?

(2) Having done second only for the rest of the week, I have forgotten how much harder it is to go into finishing backbends from primary than from second. In second, one's back is always more or less opened from having done Kapotasana, even if Karandavasana tends to have a shoulder-tightening effect. So the finishing backbends are quite accessible.

The same cannot be said about going into the finishing backbends from primary. Even though I went into the finishing backbends the Kino way today (i.e. do one Setu Bandhasana (Bridge Posture), then one set of three Urdhva Dhanurasanas, then another set of three UDs. During the third UD of the second set, try to walk the hands towards the heels and catch them. And then try to stand up from there.), my shoulders (or mid-back, I'm not entirely sure) still felt very tight. During the third UD of the second set, I walked my hands towards my heels, but my shoulders were so tight that my elbows collapsed to the mat before my hands could touch my heels, and I had to lie back down. I had to do a third set of three UDs. And it was only on the third UD of this third set that I finally managed to touch my hands to my heels and stand up. There is a silver lining to this "cloud", though: As a result of all this hard work, my quads were worked really good.

(3) At the end of practice, I looked at the time. Despite my backbend drama, I still managed to finish the whole thing in less than an hour and a half. It's nice to know that switching to second only has not diminished my stamina in primary :-)    

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