Showing posts with label depression. Show all posts
Showing posts with label depression. Show all posts

Attachment (Raga), Depression, and Plan Z

11:15 | Labels: , , , ,

by Nina

Plan E
Did you read my recent post about attachment Attachment (Raga) to Our Ideas About Ourselves? Because I’m starting to feel I’m going to be exploring this topic for some time. For one thing, just a couple of days someone close to me found out that he has heart disease, and I know this means he’s going to have to let go of some of his plans/dreams for his future. I don’t know how this is going to play out, but I know it will be painful for him because he was particularly “attached” to his vision of how he should live his life. Also, I know that Jill is going to write something very interesting about her attachment to her appearance. (Jill and I are having a very interesting time exploring the overlap between Buddhism and yoga philosophy.)

But for today I simply want to clarify something about my previous post, because a conversation on Facebook made me realize that something I said may have been misleading and I really want to be clear that I do not see meditation or a even well-rounded yoga practice as a cure for depression. I’ll begin with the Facebook comments from the reader, Lynn Somerstein, and me, and then I’ll comment further. (The really wonderful thing about this Facebook discussion was not only that it made me think, but I also ended up chatting with Lynn, who is a psychologist, a yoga teacher, and a writer, privately. So now we’re friends and may even work on some projects together in the future!)

Lynn: Although I read your blog regularly and gladly, I think today's post is a dangerous oversimplification of what depression is, does, and how it should be treated. People who are depressed often are unable to meditate-- instead they focus on all that they feel is wrong and they experience this as meditation, rather than a symptom of their illness. Depressed people need therapeutic help.

Nina: Sorry if you thought this was about depression. It is not. The person in question is getting professional help and medication. I always recommend that and consider yoga as a supplement only. However, I do think that part of recovering means being able to let go of certain things, and I know this from having gone through this myself (including therapy). I have written some about yoga for depression on the blog, which if you read those posts you will see that I never claim yoga can cure depression. –Nina

Lynn: Thanks Nina. Yoga and Psychotherapy together are a great help for depression and anxiety too. Thank you for answering my comment. I do read your every post. Namaste.

The post I was referring to about the limits of yoga for helping with depression was Yoga is a great thing, but..., in which I addressed the issue directly. The issue of problems that people with depression, anxiety, and other emotional or mental imbalances might have with so-called "relaxing" poses in When Relaxing Isn't Relaxing. Baxter also wrote a relevant post  Friday Q&A: Can Meditation Be Dangerous? about this.

After this discussion I contacted Lynn privately to ask if I could use her comments in a post and she agreed. After she agreed, I asked her if there was anything she wanted to add to her comments. By then, she had read my articles, and she sent me the following comment by email:

I agree, as you wrote in "Relaxing Isn't" that opening your eyes can help. For those who simply don't profit from meditation using a simple movement that can be connected with the breath, like walking or swimming, for example, may work better; as the body and breath unite, the mind quiets.

So, yes, just to be completely clear: I do not believe that meditation or yoga alone can cure depression, and anyone who is suffering from this illness should seek help from a professional. And thank you, Lynn, for helping me realize I needed to clarify this.

However, yoga can be a wonderful supplement in the recovery process, as the asana practice (like walking or swimming) can help get you out of your head and into your body, and sometimes certain asanas can energize or calm you (depending on which you need). See Tamasic and Rajasic Depression. Patricia Walden, a senior Iyengar yoga teacher, who herself suffers from depression, teaches workshops on yoga for depression, and you can find out more about her work in Yoga As Medicine by Timothy McCall (Patricia was Timothy’s first main teacher, and he did his teacher training with her). I have taken her workshop several times, and have been very inspired by her work. I still believe, however, that for some people, part of the process of recovering from depression (and maybe this is an essential part of therapy, but I can't speak to that) includes letting go of certain attachments, including the agenda you had for your life. And before you can move on to that step, you need to be ready to admit that attachment, as Patanjali says, IS an affliction.

2.3 avidya asmita raga dvesha abhinevesha klesah


The five afflictions (klesas) which disturb the equilibrium of consciousness are: ignorance or lack of wisdom, ego, pride of the ego or the sense of ‘I,’ attachment to pleasure, aversion to pain, fear of death and clinging to life. —Yoga Sutras, translation by Edwin Bryant 

To end on a lighter note, I’ll tell you a little story about letting go of plans that I’ll call “Plan Z.” On Sunday my companion and I went into New York City for lunch and a walk around Alphabet City (so many wonderful community gardens there!), and our plan was to take the PATH train home in the mid-afternoon and then do some work we needed to finish. Let’s call that Plan A. Well, it turned out the PATH was completely closed down due to a fire in the tunnel. So Plan B was splurge on a taxi (we weren’t going very far from home, and if there had been a way to walk across the Hudson river, we could just have walked). After a long time trying to flag one down and failing (Other people who couldn’t take the train? People leaving from the Climate March? Both?), we moved on to Plan C, which was calling Uber and/or a car service. Uber was surge pricing, which offended my companion, and we couldn't get through to the car service, so we came up with Plan D, which was to take a ferry to a certain city in New Jersey, and then walk home from there. Our backup plan for that was to go to Penn Station and take a train to Newark, but we knew by now that Penn Station was going to be super crowded. (My companion joked that Plan Z was that we would drink the entire bottle of artisan cucumber vodka we had purchased as a gift for someone and spend the night in Washington Square. Obviously, we weren’t going to do this, but it was a joke that we kept making that cheered us up, and also allowed us to discuss the whole concept of staying calm while letting go of plans in a light-hearted way—okay, maybe black humor—but we like that stuff.)

We decided to walk on the High Line (the beautiful elevated park) to make the most of our walk to the ferry, but we were rushing a bit because it was getting later and later, and the ferries stopped at seven. When we finally made it to the ferry terminal we found that the ferries to the city we wanted to go to didn’t run on weekends, so we made a snap decision to take the ferry to Hoboken instead, and figured from there we could either take the light rail train or walk. We called this Plan E. Plan F was if we couldn’t get on that ferry, we’d go to Penn Station. Long story short-ish, we got the second ferry to Hoboken (some other people had the same idea about how to escape from Manhattan) and then had nice dinner in an outdoor restaurant. Refreshed after our rest and meal, we were able to walk the rest of the way home. 

Obviously, this “escape from Manhattan” could have been very stressful (we had reasons why we needed to get back home that night) but our joking about all our plans and backup plans and how we had to keep letting go of them, helped us stay calm and even enjoy many aspects of our adventure. There were people playing bagpipes below the High Line at one point—why?


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When Relaxing Isn't Relaxing

10:35 | Labels: , , , ,

by Nina

Cactus Flower by Melina Meza
On Friday, Baxter wrote about how meditation and other forms of conscious relaxation, such as yoga nidra, can be agitating for certain people (see Friday Q&A: Can Meditation Be Dangerous?). I wouldn’t be surprised if that were true for many of us at certain times. Sometimes when you’re feeling anxious or depressed having to sit quietly with your thoughts can be overwhelming. The same thing is true for lying down on your back in Savasana or restorative poses with your eyes closed. Even practicing supported forward bends, which many people find soothing, can cause you to brood rather than quiet down. 

A more active yoga practice will be easier for you when you’re depressed or anxious—the physical challenges and mindful movements will engage your mind—yet it’s still important for you to manage your stress (see One Thing: Yoga, Zen, Whatever). So here are some ideas for different things you can try when classic relaxation techniques just aren’t working for you.

Eyes Open: If closing your eyes in Savasana or any restorative pose causes agitation or brooding, try keeping your eyes open but with a soft focus.

Crocodile Pose: Sometimes lying on your back can make you feel exposed and vulnerable (see Anxiety, Yoga and the Front Body). So try lying on your belly in Crocodile pose (Makrasana) instead to see if that is more comforting. If your lower back curves too much in Crocodile pose, place a folded blanket (long rectangle) under your lower belly. 
If you don’t find Crocodile comfortable, you could try a supported version of Savasana, as raising your torso higher than your legs might feel better than being flat on your back, or even a side-lying Savasana (see Corpse Pose Variations).


Supported Child’s Pose: Like Crocodile pose, Supported Child’s pose allows you to relax without feeling exposed or vulnerable. Many people actually find hugging their bolsters very comforting. You can turn your head to side and keep your eyes open if that helps; just be sure to turn your head to the other side for an equal amount of time.
Supported Inversions: because the Relaxation response is triggered by your physical position, supported inverted poses don’t require a mental focus (see Why You Should Love Your Baroreceptors). So you can keep your eyes open and even listen to music while you are practicing them and you’ll still quiet your nervous system. These are also great alternatives to forward bends, which cause some people to brood and others just find unpleasant. Of course, as with any pose, if you feel bad in an inverted pose, come out of the pose immediately. See All About Supported Inverted Poses to find a supported inverted pose that's right for you.

Choose Appropriate Breath Practices: Never do a breath practice that makes you feel uncomfortable in any way. Practices that encourage you to take a longer and/or deeper inhalation can actually be agitating for people with anxiety. The safest thing to do is just to practice simple breath awareness. But if that isn’t enough to engage your mind and you keep being distracted by depressing or anxious thoughts, try a practice that’s recommended for your particular state (see Balancing Your Emotions with your Breath).

 And please let me know if you have any further recommendations! I'd love to add more ideas to my list.

Finally, if you are a teacher who is teaching one or more students with mental disorders, it is always a good idea to let the class know that if anyone becomes seriously agitated, anxious or depressed during meditation or relaxation, they should stop and raise their hand so you can help them find an appropriate alternative. 

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Friday Q&A: Can Meditation Be Dangerous?

13:07 | Labels: , ,

Cactus by Melina Meza
Q: I've got a question for Baxter (as one of his former teacher training students and budding yoga teacher): Are there any studies showing that individuals with mental disorders such as depression or schizophrenia should not meditate because it may worsen their condition or otherwise?

A: My students are always spurring me to look more deeply at what I know about yoga and its safe application for so many conditions! And this question opened up a new world of work on yoga and psychological issues to me. I had previously taken a wonderful workshop that Patricia Walden and Timothy McCall did at Yoga Journal Conference many years ago, in which they recommended yoga as a helpful adjunct to the treatment of depression and anxiety. Nina reminded me today as we talked about their work that Patricia did mention cautions on the appropriate use of certain yoga poses and meditation as they related to those two particular conditions. But I was unaware as to whether there existed studies on this.

On the positive side, Timothy lists multiple studies on his 75 Conditions Yoga Helps listthat show yoga having benefits for anxiety and depression. But as I began to do some research, I immediately came across several online meditation sites that warned about certain contraindications. I also found a review article that looked at existing research on meditation and mental illness, which had some recommendations based on their discoveries. Today I’ll summarize some of what I discovered and give you a few links if you’d like to read more yourself.

The good news is that there were no strict or absolute contraindications for introducing meditation to students with mental illness, especially if the teacher is truly experienced with the meditation technique being taught, has a clear understanding of the student’s mental illness, and has given the student proper preparations for the actual meditation being taught. However, having a clear understanding of the student’s depression or schizophrenia may be way beyond the scope of practice of most yoga teachers or yoga therapists, so as a teacher, you might want to collaborate with the student’s therapist to make sure the student is stable enough to tolerate or benefit from learning meditation. And if you are a practitioner with a mental disorder who wants to learn meditation, check in with your therapist first and then try to find a very experienced meditation instructor.

According to The Spiritual Competency Resource: 

“There are conditions and situations when meditation is contra-indicated. A useful rule of thumb is that meditation should be used with caution whenever there are concerns regarding reality testing, ego boundaries, lack of empathy, or rigid over-control. For example, when treating a schizophrenic patient with active psychotic symptoms, it may be inadvisable to include meditation as a component of treatment, as reality testing may be impaired.” 

A 1979 study Precipitation of acute psychoticepisodes by intensive meditation in individuals with a history of schizophrenia looked at the worsening of patients’ schizophrenia when meditation was introduced, whereas a 1986 study A holistic program for chronic schizophrenic patients demonstrated the safe introduction of meditation as part of a holistic program for schizophrenic patients in a state mental hospital setting. So, as with so many things related to yoga, it depends on many factors as to the safety of introducing meditation to this population. 

I also discovered an anxiety condition that I was previously unaware of previously (although I did get hints of this when Richard Miller, PhD added a newer component to his yoga nidra practices for PTSD students that had them establish a “safe space” mentally that they could go to during their yoga nidra if they suddenly became anxious or had a panic attack). The condition, called “relaxation-induced anxiety,” is one in which someone who is unaccustomed to the deep relaxation that often accompanies meditation finds the resulting physiological release and attention to internal sensations, perceptions, and images, to be a source of fearful anxiety-producing apprehension. It turns out this kind of anxiety can happen with just about any relaxation technique, so that includes not only yoga nidra but also simple Savasana or a restorative yoga practice. Being aware of condition seems like a great idea for any yoga teacher who offers such practices to their public students. A 1983 study Relaxation-induced anxiety in a subclinical sample of chronically anxious subjects that looked at 30 chronically anxious patients who were given a progressive relaxation practice found that 17% of the participants had an increase in anxiety during the session.

Another very thorough review article Meditation: concepts, effects and uses in therapy (not a research paper) that looked at the results of 75 scientific selected articles in the field of meditation, including Transcendental Meditation, found that over 60% of participants reported negative side effects. Before I list the reported complaints, keep in mind that I don’t have the percentage breakdowns for them and the authors caution that the research itself has limitations on how well it was done (more on that in a minute). The reported side effects were: 

“relaxation-induced anxiety and panic; paradoxical increases in tension; less motivation in life; boredom; pain; impaired reality testing; confusion and disorientation; feeling 'spaced out'; depression; increased negativity; being more judgmental; feeling addicted to meditation; uncomfortable kinesthetic sensations; mild dissociation; feelings of guilt; psychosis-like symptoms; grandiosity; elation; destructive behavior; suicidal feelings; defenselessness; fear; anger; apprehension; and despair.”

The authors point out that many of these side effects are also symptoms that patients with neurosis might have had the symptoms before trying meditation, so it may be a question of the chicken or the egg. And once again, they warn about the state of the research:

“Research into meditation is mixed, and of poor quality. Most of the studies are methodologically flawed, with insufficient number of cases, lack of standardized diagnostic procedures and being limited to non-psychiatric populations.”

I think the take-home here is that we have some evidence that meditation techniques can be helpful for some people with conditions like depression and even schizophrenia, but maybe not for others who are more unstable and fragile. It would seem prudent for anyone with significant symptoms of any mental illness to be working with a good psychologist and maybe a psychiatrist if medications are required. So yoga teachers and therapists should consider forming working relationships with mental health professionals to best serve their students with mental health issues. And if you are a student with mental health problems who experiences significant anxiety, agitation or depression while meditating, please let your teacher know as he or she may be able to offer you an alternative practice (Nina will have some recommendations on Monday). 

—Baxter


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One Thing: Yoga, Zen, Whatever

08:59 | Labels: , , , ,

by Nina

Zen Jewel by Torei Enji
Last night I was thinking about someone close to me who is going through hard times—struggling with rather serious depression. Although he exercises regularly, he doesn't take yoga classes. He's considering starting, though, and naturally I'm the go-to expert on that topic so I spent some time reading up on the studios in his area in an attempt to help. But when it came down to it, I surprised myself by recommending a Zen center in his area instead of a yoga studio. That's because I felt that if he was going to do one thing for himself—in addition to western style therapy—it should be a practice that would reduce his stress levels. Stress, of course, can exacerbate or even cause depression and I know his lifestyle is stressful. And Zen style meditation is a great way to switch your nervous system from Stress mode to Relaxation mode, and to teach you to cultivate equanimity in the face of challenges.

Still, why, when I have been writing about yoga for stress management practically since Day 1 (see The Relaxation Response and Yoga) wouldn't I recommend yoga? Well, the truth is that most yoga classes (like the ones in his neighborhood) are merely exercise classes. They don't teach meditation, pranayama or any forms of conscious relaxation, except maybe a brief Savasana at the end of a sweaty flow class. Gosh, one studio was even offering something called ariel yoga, which looked kind of like Cirque du Soleil. That might be fun but those acrobatic techniques didn't really seem like the most helpful skills for him to be cultivating at this point.  I felt in the end that at least some basic instruction in meditation from an experienced teacher—and I knew he needed in-person instruction not just YFHA written instructions—and a group to practice with in beautiful, peaceful room would be more helpful to him than trying to learn to jump into Chaturanga Dandasana.  It's kind of sad but I just didn't trust those unknown yoga teachers whose bios I read online to teach him the kind of yoga I felt he needed at this time. I know that fancy poses and the promise of a "yoga body" are what sells yoga these days but some really valuable techniques sure seem to be getting short shrift in the meantime. 

Well, that's my mini rant for the day. But I do want to add that if you're going through some difficult times yourself and you want to try just one thing, do something to bring your stress levels down—yoga (see here), Zen, whatever. Besides, the Buddha himself was a yogi, right?


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Yoga for Emotional Wellbeing: An Epiphany

10:36 | Labels: , , , , ,

by Nina

Sand Dollar by Melina Meza
I don’t have a particularly exciting story about why I started practicing yoga. (It’s kind of humorous actually. When I was in my late twenties, I was working at a small software company and we wanted to start an on-site exercise class. One of our co-workers said that his wife could come and teach us, so we decided to give it a go. We had no idea she was a yoga teacher! So there we were, for our first class, and she asked us to stand in “Mountain pose,” with our big toes together and our heels slightly apart, which was the opposite of the foot position I was used to doing in ballet and modern dance, my previous forms of preferred exercise. And just standing that way felt so wonderful for my body, I thought, whatever this is, this is for me!). However, I do have a more dramatic story about why I decided to become a yoga teacher.

During the period when I was studying yoga with Rodney Yee and writing our first book together, Yoga: The Poetry of the Body, Rod helped me understand how my yoga practice was benefiting me in emotional and spiritual ways, as well as physical ones. It turned out that by practicing regularly at home—something I had taken up intuitively rather than with any specific goals in mind—I had been learning to manage my stress, balance my emotions and cultivate equanimity without even realizing it. (If you read the dialogues in the book Yoga: The Poetry of the Body, you can witness Rod helping me toward that realization.) And as someone who had suffered in the past from chronic stress (working full time at a software start-up while raising two children!), which had led to a bout of agitated depression, I began to see the tremendous power yoga had for helping people with emotional difficulties of all kinds, including stress, depression, anxiety, anger, and general dissatisfaction or unhappiness.

Then, one morning when I was practicing yoga with Rod and his best friend, Ian, Ian began talking about how he had just learned that a colleague of his had committed suicide.  (Yes, sorry to disillusion you, those guys chatted constantly while they were practicing.) And while I was in Shoulderstand, I kept thinking about about Ian’s story, and filled with compassion for his friend—for the suffering he must have experienced to lead him to take his life—I began to cry. I realized then that while I could not help Ian’s friend, I did have quite a lot of knowledge that I could use to help other people who were suffering. And while I had no particular ambition to become a yoga teacher per se, I understood at that moment that I really should look into finding a way to share what I knew. Yes, it was one of those actual epiphanies (and I had it while I was doing a yoga pose).

After that, I started doing two things. First, I began taking as many workshops as I could from teachers like Patricia Walden, who teaches workshops on Yoga for Depression (I took that more than once!) and Yoga for Emotional Healing, and Roger Cole, who teaches about the physiology of inversions. Then, I enrolled in a three-year teacher training program at The Yoga Room, in Berkeley. Clearly I believe in being thoroughly prepared! Finally, when I felt ready (and when I got the go-ahead from Patricia, who was informally mentoring me) I did begin teaching workshops on Yoga for Emotional Wellbeing, Yoga for Stress and Yoga for Better Sleep. Those were rewarding—there is nothing like having even just one person tell you that you made a difference in their lives by teaching them a simple practice, like breath awareness—and I still teach them occasionally. But I eventually realized that writing is still my forte and that I could reach a larger audience through my writing than by teaching local workshops.

When Baxter and I came up with the idea of starting a blog, I realized that a blog could be the perfect venue for me; having our own blog would allow me to give myself the power to write about what I wanted to write about, the way I wanted to write about it (frankly, the way some publications edit/rewrite you can be positively painful). And because the blog was free and accessible world wide, I could reach people who would never be able to study with me in person.

Because I not only write for the YFHA blog but I’m also the Editor in Chief, I work on the blog at least five days a week (and sometimes behind the scenes on the weekends). And that takes a lot of dedication. But that original epiphany I had in Shoulderstand and my ongoing passion for sharing what I know about the emotional and spiritual benefits of yoga—as well as the physical ones—are a wellspring that never runs dry.

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Depression Accelerates Unhealthy Aging

13:13 | Labels: , , ,

by Ram

by Melina Meza
In the Sadhana Pada of the Yoga Sutras by Patanjali we are introduced to the eight rungs/limbs/steps of yoga, whose practice helps us develop attention as a tool for discriminating between ignorance and awareness and truth from illusion as the means for liberation or enlightenment. The second limb/step contains five niyamas or observances/practices of self-training and deals with how we relate to ourselves inwardly. One of the five niyamas is santosha, which means “contentment” or “true happiness.” To be contented and happy even while experiencing life’s difficulties is a process of growth through all kinds of circumstances. We need to accept that there is a purpose for everything and cultivate contentment even if the final outcome of the purpose is unforeseen and unfavorable. It also means being happy with what we have rather than being unhappy about what we don't have. Humans in general are never contented with what they possess and are always desirous of some materialistic pleasure, and if these pleasures do not get fulfilled, it triggers depression, discontentment, unhappiness, frustration, anger and loss of mental peace leading to a disharmonious life. If we are truly contented with our needs and justly happy with our lifestyle and what we currently have, it will help us in the journey to absolute truth and the highest realization.

In one of my earlier posts Anger Management: Philosophy, Science, and Yoga, I discussed research studies from health professionals, behavioral scientists, psychologists and others indicating that rage and anger are definitely hazardous to health. Yet another emotional state that triggers unhealthy aging is depression. Past studies have already associated depression with diabetes, cancer, obesity and heart disease. Depression is an extremely complex disease and depressed individuals feel overwhelmed with sadness and loneliness for unknown reasons. Depression prevents an individual from enjoying life. Additionally, its effects go far beyond mood alone as it also impacts energy, sleep, appetite, and physical health. Factors that trigger depression include but are not limited to abuse, certain medications, personal/professional/social conflicts, death or a loss of a loved one, chronic illness, genetics, substance abuse, some traumatic experience, social isolation, and so on.

Now a recent study Major depressive disorder and accelerated cellular aging: results from a large psychiatric cohort study suggests that severe depression may trigger rapid and unhealthy aging. According to this new study, severe depression doesn't just affect the mind, but it also attacks the body on a cellular level and speeds up the aging process. In this study performed jointly by researchers from Netherlands and UC San Francisco, depressed individuals were shown to have accelerated cellular aging by nearly six years, suggesting that these people age significantly faster compared with people without the disorder. The study involved 1,095 patients suffering from severe depression alongside 802 people who had recovered from depression and 510 healthy individuals who had no history of the disorder. Researchers measured the length of cell structures called telomeres, which are "caps" at the end of chromosomes that protect the DNA during cell division. For more on telomeres and longevity, see Baxter’s very informative post Aging, Telomeres, and Yoga.

Normally, telomeres shorten with each cell division and this shortening serves as an index of a cell's aging. Thus, telomeres may be an indicator of longer cell life, and by extension, longer overall lifespan. In the above-mentioned study, depressed individuals had significantly shorter telomeres compared with people in the control group suggesting that cellular aging in people with depression is accelerated by several years. The severity of a person's depression as well as a longer duration of symptoms resulted in an even shorter telomere length. Notably, the results held after controlling for other lifestyle variables—including weight, drinking and smoking—that are also known to contribute to aging. While other research has suggested that lifestyle interventions may have significant benefits for the aging process, it remains to be seen as to whether fruitful interventions for depressed individuals would have an impact on depression and reverse the aging process.

People are looking for ways to bring peace and santosha in their lives and santosha seems to be the most sought after principle in the world today (see Santosha: Happiness and Longevity). The good news is that depression is not an inevitable part of aging, and there are many steps and lifestyle changes that a depressed individual can also take to overcome the symptoms and the challenges they face to bring santosha into their lives. One recommendation is to practice yoga asana, meditation and pranayama, all of which have been shown to reduce the impact of exaggerated stress responses and be helpful for people with severe depression (for suggested practices, see Tamasic and Rajasic Depression and other posts on depression by Nina). Research from several groups has already demonstrated the therapeutic effects of yoga, meditation and pranayama in reducing the parameters of stress, including cortisol, thereby bringing about relief from depression.

Researchers and practitioners alike agree that a combination of yoga, meditation and pranayama is a relatively low-risk, high-yield approach not only to reverse depression and aging but also to improve overall health. The above, together with other findings suggest that depression can be turned into happiness to causally influence health and healthy aging. Albert Ellis, the noted American psychologist once remarked, “You largely constructed your depression. It wasn't given to you. Therefore, you can deconstruct it.” So how about using yoga to deconstruct depression and bring santosha in our own lives!


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Entering the Void

21:00 | Labels: , , , ,

"Train yourself to let go of everything you fear to lose."   (Jedi Master Yoda)
The void. In our modern culture we will do anything NOT to feel what it is to sit in the void. Unavoidable, I have found myself here on a number of occasions. Sometimes by choice, others not, and in that I can see the design of modern life does all it can to stop us from entering into this space of empty awareness.  The void, a place of darkness that gives opportunity to experience the light. The light generated from mysterious unknowing.

Void: noun an empty space; emptiness. Something experienced as a loss or privation. Gap or opening; as in a wall. A vacancy; vacuum. 

When looking at the word more thoroughly for some it may seem scary when much of life is defined by how we fit into the world in relationship to others. How we stack up. How we coincide. Going back, my experience has been that I didn't. Growing up biracial never really completely melting with one group or the other I began to understand how important it was for others I be labeled as something. Funny that it wasn't me who was uncomfortable with being in a state of ambiguity it seemed to give more comfort to those around me. Who are you? What are you? Labels and criteria just distance us from truly seeing what is infront of us. With a label we then have set expectations or past experiences downloaded into our psyche at lightening speed. Separation ensues. Moving away from reality and clear observation.

Even the word is confusing because the word has it's own set of limitations depending on the heart and mind of the individual. I guess I could have said spaciousness, silence, emptiness, etc. The important point is it isn't always the most comfortable especially if deep issues of control are present unable to let go to the mystery we call life. Contemplate on it. Even with all the books to be read and all the knowledge we can acquire, what can be known if we are then not willing to sit in the depth of our own being, in the void?

In the void there is a pulsation like a heartbeat, but first there is only nothingness. Within the vast emptiness a lost feeling may arise. There is nothing to lean up against. There is nothing to judge or compare. There is nothing to know or acknowledge. However, never fear, because you are more home than you can ever know. Sit in the silence and feel the rhythm of the unexplained. Come face to face with unadulterated, pure and unlimited potential.

It's a place of pure love and experience. What can be frightening for some is every construct and definition is ultimately shattered, and that's the thing, we don't trust the void enough. This is true for myself, but somehow life keeps pulling me there, to nowhere, to no past and no future. Little by little, step by tiny step, I navigate the space with more clarity or at the very least a semblance of being here before as every seed of faith I have sheds light within the depths of what I can only call my soul's knowing. It's uncomfortable. At times the heat that arises is unbearable, and at others an intense cold, feeling desolate and alone. A flux that can only be described as the rug being pulled beneath without a moments notice to be ready and awake.

The void. The mind is obsolete. The heart knows all. The truth is available. We know it. We are it. I guess the deeper question is will we recognize it?




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