our-yoga

It's Friday! The weekend is almost here! Life is good. I love taking breaks from the daily grind to laugh--and there has been some pretty hilarious yoga-related content circulating around recently. Here's what made me laugh this week. I hope it makes you laugh, too!

I found this gem on Kathryn Budig's FB page.

Men in Yoga Pants (Thanks to Yoga Dork for tipping us off to this one!). I couldn't stop laughing at these photos. This site is a totally silly answer to all the offensive websites devoted to women in yoga pants.

Video: Dude Wears Leggings, Calls Other Dudes Out for Staring at His Yoga Butt . This must be the week for men wearing yoga pants. This video takes the concept a step further and a dude wearing tight yoga pants actually calls out men for staring.

36 Types of People You Meet in Your Yoga Class. I've definitely come across most of these types of people in yoga classes. I'm sure I've been guilty of BEING one or two of them, too! If we can't laugh at ourselves, we're taking life way too seriously.

Best Yoga Jokes. Last, but not least, here's a #FlashbackFriday to an old Spoiled Yogi post with my all-time favorite yoga jokes I've heard (and, yes, probably told) in yoga class.

What made you laugh this week?

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Every year I get inundated with emails from marketers hawking yoga gear for consideration in my holiday gift guide. I'm not opposed to yoga gear. I have several quality, environmentally friendly yoga mats, practical bags that help me schlepp my mat to the studio, and a beautiful collection of yoga tops and yoga pants. I have blocks, straps, bolsters, and eye pillows. I have those socks with the sticky rubber on the bottom and a special yoga towel to absorb sweat in hot classes (it should be noted that I am not a fan of hot classes so I've only used this towel a couple of times). And, yes, I have more yoga books, magazines, and DVDs than I can count. While I love all of my yoga "things," I just don't need any more.

Photo via Flickr

Here are some things I'd really like for the holiday to help my yoga practice.

1. More hours in the day. That's right. I'd like to ask Santa for more time to practice. Maybe he could just arrange for my daughter to sleep in past 6 in the morning so I could squeeze in an hour or so of yoga before she wakes up, then I'd be set for the rest of the day. Santa is magical right? I believe he can make this happen...

2. Yoga clothes and a yoga mat that repels dog hair. I know I said I don't need more yoga "stuff," so if someone could just invent a non-toxic, organic, environmentally friendly spray I could douse everything I own with, that would be perfect. It drives me nuts that all of my yoga stuff seems to attract my animals' light-colored fur. I think I'd practice more if I didn't get fur up my nose every time I take a break in Child's Pose.

3. A personal chef. I feel great when I eat healthy foods, and the more I practice yoga the more I want fresh, natural whole foods. But, I'll be honest, I often have to make a choice between practicing asana and meditating or taking the time to grocery shop, chop fresh vegetables, soak beans, and prepare the best foods for myself and my family. I just haven't figured out how to do it all. Having a personal chef to take care of the food (I'm not a great cook, anyway) so I can focus on spending time with my family and practicing yoga would make me a very happy woman.

Of course, coming into a ton of money so I could work only when I feel inspired would take care of that too... but I'm trying not to be greedy (aparigraha is one of the yamas, you know).

4. More yoga experiences. I'd love to go on a yoga retreat some time. Who actually can afford to take these? Anyone? Well, someone must because it seems like tons of yoga teachers offer yearly retreats to places like Hawaii, Mexico, Bali, and India. I'd be content with more weekend workshops in my own town with my teachers. 2014 will be my year. I can feel it!

5. More yoga students. I'm putting this out there, not because I'd like to make more money as a yoga teacher to support my desires for yoga retreats and personal chefs (though that would be great!), but because as a yoga teacher, there's nothing in the world that inspires me more than watching students learn and grow. It's motivation to keep learning and growing myself. I'd like more of that, please.

What's on your list?

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1. My dog licks my face every time I go into Downward Dog. Or Handstand. Or Headstand. Or Plank. Or Up Dog. I should really put the dog outside before I practice.

2. My 14-month-old daughter climbs onto my back every time I rest in Child's Pose. (Seriously. I used to think this pose was called Child's Pose because it's easy so a child could do it. That makes no sense at all because kids are way better at yoga than adults. So it must be called Child's Pose because of how fun it is for children to mount their parents like horses when they're trying to take a breath.. Yep. I think that must be it.)

3. My daughter always wakes up from her nap at exactly the time I"m finishing with a long sequence of standing poses with my right foot back. She screams. I go get her. I have to stop practicing. I walk a little to the left the rest of the day.

4. My husband insists on watching TV, listening to music, or loudly singing and it drowns out my Krishna Das. It also pisses me off when this happens. And being pissed off is an instant home yoga practice killer.

5. When I practice at home my gadgets are a little too accessible. I get Tweets and text messages from friends. My email beckons. Is it my turn on Words with Friends? Must. Resist. Urge. To. Check. Email.

6. The UPS man or the postlady have a knack for ringing my doorbell just as I've started to practice. It sends the dog into a frenzy, wakes up the baby, and ruins my day. (Unless the package is something fun for me.. then it only ruins my practice for the day, but the rest of my day is probably pretty awesome because I love new things!)

7. My yoga mat is where a lot of magic happens, and sometimes the flood gates open and creativity comes pouring into my head. As a writer, I know that when inspiration comes I have to stop what I'm doing immediately and write before it goes away. Sadly, this sometimes means I roll my mat back up and plan to come back to it later.

8. Grrrrr... My stomach growls. Hunger is an annoying home practice deterrent.

9. My phone rings. Or, in my case, vibrates (I never have the ringer on).

10. My needy cat tries to force me to pet her. When I ignore her and shoo her away from my mat, she stands on the end tables and starts knocking everything on them to the floor. Crash! Boom! Bang! (See Learning to Purrrr-severe.) What are your most annoying home practice distractions?

What keeps you from your home practice?

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Image by Flickr user RelaxingMusic

1. Your biggest motivation for unrolling your mat is ________.
     A. To achieve the perfect yoga butt.
     B. To get to know yourself better inside and out.
     C. To relieve stress.
     D.  Because your friend invited you to class and you want him/her to see how awesome you are.
     E.  All of the above.

2. Your friend is on the fence about attending a yoga class. How do you try to convince her?
     A. Do nothing. She's obviously not as spiritual as you are so it's a lost cause.
     B. Say you know she'll love it whenever she's ready to go, you'd love to unroll your mat beside hers
     C. Not applicable. You don't associate with people who don't have a regular yoga practice.
     D. Tell her she HAS to go and list all the celebrities who do it
     E.  Do nothing. It's not your job to make others try yoga. She'll have to figure it out on her own.

3. Life is crazy. You realize you're going to miss your favorite weekly yoga class. What do you do?
     A. Panic. The last time you missed that class you went nuts and there was a series of unfortunate events.
     B. Take a few deep breaths wherever you are. Asana is only a small part of your practice.
     C. Unroll your mat at home for at least 5 minutes. It's better than nothing.
     D. Vow to take an extra class next week to make up for it. 
     E. Don't sweat it. Life happens.

4.  Your teacher is out and the sub instructs a pose that you feel most of the class is not ready to attempt. What do you do?
     A. Call her out immediately. You can't let your classmates injure themselves on your watch!
     B. Realize that there are different approaches to the practice, and try this new style with an open mind.
     C. After class you call the teacher over and quietly ask her about her style. It's different than what you've learned, but maybe she knows something you haven't considered.
     D. You make sure you practice the pose perfectly so that your classmates can see how it's done!
     E. You don't concern yourself with it. She's the teacher. She probably knows what she's doing.

5. How do you describe your yoga skill level?
     A. Expert, master, or enlightened.
     B. Intermediate, but you still have lots to learn.
     C. Intermediate. You can do more than most.
     D. Advanced.
     E. Beginner, in body and mind.

Should you enroll in teacher training?

Answer key:

Mostly As
Maybe not. It's helpful to approach a teacher training with the mindset that you're a student first and have a lot to learn. If you already feel you know everything you need to know, you might not get much out of the training. Not to mention, once you're done with training you'll be more relatable to students if they see you're humble and are on the same path of learning that they are. Keep practicing!

Mostly Bs and Cs
Dooooo it! You've practiced enough to know that you've just skimmed the surface of a limitlessly deep subject. You're open to learning, and you know that the best way to lead others is through your example.

Mostly Ds
Proceed with caution. Think about why you want to be a teacher: Are you trying to impress someone? Are you doing it to fit into a certain image of what you think a yoga teacher is? Yoga is about exploring your body, mind, and spirit. If you're not focused mainly on that, it might be hard to help others on that path. Keep practicing!

Mostly Es
It could go either way. You have the right attitude about learning more, but maybe you're more concerned with deepening your own practice than you are sharing it with others. Of course, that's a perfectly legitimate reason to enroll in a teacher training, but you might benefit even more from an immersion that doesn't focus as much on teaching skills.

Note: I did a teacher training when I was 22 years old.. and if I am really honest about it, I probably wasn't ready. And, truthfully, I know I didn't get as much out of the training as I could have. But I still wouldn't change a thing about it! It still helped me to deepen my practice, learn more about who I was and who I wanted to be, and I think I'm a pretty decent teacher now--even if I wasn't when I first got my certification. :) So, really, you're the only one who can determine when you're ready and what you want to get out of the training. I hope this little quiz gave you some food for thought, but please don't be discouraged no matter what the result! If you want to be a good teacher, you'll be an awesome one whether you take your training now or in 10 years.

I want to hear from the yoga teachers.. How did you know you were ready to enroll in teacher training?

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In case you haven't been clicking around the links on this blog lately, I thought I'd let you know that I updated my Frequently Asked Questions page.

I updated the answer to questions such as, "Are you a yoga teacher?" And I answered some new questions such as, "Why are you such an asshole?"

As I was updating the page, I thought it might be fun to answer some actual questions from readers! I've made up the Q&A section since SY was a baby blog. I do get reader questions from time to time, but I rarely answer them in a public way...

So Dear Readers...
This is your opportunity to ask me anything (and I mean anything--yoga questions, life questions, random questions, you name it!).

Comment below. I promise to give you a speedy response.

And... Go!

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Image via Flickr user istolethetv

True/False    Your shoulders are creeping up toward your ears in this very moment.

True/False     Sometimes you get tired and grumpy in the afternoons.

True/False     You often notice your mind wandering and find it difficult to concentrate.

True/False     When given the choice between a light, healthy snack and a decadent cupcake you almost always choose the cupcake.

True/False     You avoid looking into the mirror because you just can't stand to see all the imperfections staring back at you.

True/False     You wish you had more money/power/success.

True/False     Reality TV is your favorite "hobby"--even the really bad shows like American Idol and The Apprentice.

True/False    You need a glass of wine or beer at the end of the day to "take the edge off."

True/False     Every Sunday evening you start to get that yucky feeling ... of dread and anxiety for the week ahead.

True/False    Some days your poses are better than others.

True/False    Meditation is difficult for you. You can't calm your mind.

If you answered.....
Mostly True. You need more yoga! WAY more!
Mostly False. You need more yoga! WAY more!

You thought you needed a quiz to tell you that? Of COURSE you should do more yoga! Silly head!

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Image via Flickr

It's confession time.

I didn't take a shower yesterday. And you know what? I might be a lot stinkier in the days and weeks to come. Here's why.

I recently read an article about how meditation can help you become a better leader (and, frankly, a better person in general). It was written by someone who should know. A Harvard Business School professor... isn't that like the leader of the smartest leaders like.. anywhere? It's a great read--go ahead, see for yourself.

At this point you might be wondering what the heck this has to do with my lack of personal hygiene. Let me explain. I'm a work-from-home mom now, so I juggle my part-time writing work and a baby who sometimes demands more attention than I ever imagined could be possible. My little one is going through a phase (a phase that has lasted pretty much since she was born, except the week or two when she was a newborn and I was pretty sure she hated my guts) where she sleeps approximately 10 minutes when I put her down in her crib for a nap. After that she starts screaming. I go get her. She falls asleep in my arms again. Lather, rinse, repeat.

10 minutes. 10 precious minutes is all I have to do something for myself. In that time, I have a choice to make: I could do a little work. I could write a blog post. I could answer emails. I could shower. OR I could simply close my eyes and pay attention to my breath.

So if I have to be a little stinkier to be a better leader (a.k.a. better mom, better yoga teacher, better writer, and generally a better person) so be it! This is one of the many perks of staying at home--I can be stinky and no one has to know... unless I write about it on my blog... Don't judge me!

Smell ya later.*

*Direct quote from The Fresh Prince

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This new video from College Humor is a funny, but really exaggerated look at how some yoga classes seem. Beware of the  uncomfortable Savasana adjustment, weird New Age talk that doesn't make sense, and contradictory instructions.

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Shiver me timbers! In case you haven't heard, it's International Talk Like a Pirate Day!

Because I'm a big advocate that our yoga should be more fun--and less serious, I'd like to encourage all the yoga teachers out there to take advantage of this special occasion and teach like a pirate.

Stumped?

Here are a few suggestions on how to incorporate a pirate theme into your classes. I'm serious. Do this!

Ahoy, Mateys! instead of Namaste.

ARRRRRRR-dha Chandrasana.

ARRRRRRR-dha Matysasana. 

Walk the Plank Pose.

 Yo-Ho-Ho Halasana.

I Lost My Pegleg Pose (Tree Pose).

And of course, Pirate's Booty..  (Downward Facing Dog)

Can you think of more? Share below. And if anyone actually does this, please please PLEASE tell us about it!

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Brokelandia - Bikram Blows from Brokelandia on Vimeo.

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Not me.

1. I no longer have a Buddha statue or candle at the front of my mat for an alter. Instead, I have a sleeping baby in a bouncy seat, who inevitably wakes up screaming several times during my 30 minute practice session.
2. Asana sessions are interrupted several times by demands for attention, food, or the need to be rocked back to sleep.
3. During those breaks, I often have to change out of my cute yoga top into something looser so I can nurse … Poses that require me to lay on my belly still feel horrible, so I modify or skip those altogether.
4. I look up and say "Boo!" almost every time I find my way into Cobra or Upward Facing Dog.
5. My dog Penny, who will take every opportunity to cuddle she can get now that I almost always have a baby in my arms, comes running to practice with me. She licks my face every time I take Downward Dog and lies down on my calves for the seconds I'm in Cobra or Up Dog. I stop to pet her every time.
6. Thirty minutes of uninterrupted practice is cause for a celebration. If I make it through I'm elated for the rest of the day.
7. I know yoga isn't about the poses. I've known this for a very long time, but deep down it still has been a little bit about poses for me. No longer! I practice because it feels good to do something for myself. It feels good in my body and for my spirit. I also want to be a role model for my little to girl—I want her to grow up seeing the importance of self-care. For the first time in 10 years of practicing yoga, I really don't give a flying flip what I look like or what poses I can accomplish.
8. My yoga mat doubles as padding for Tummy Time. I put a blanket down, too, to avoid getting drool all over it. This is when I get in my forward folds. (Penny licks me in the face then, too.)
9. Any activity is fair game for a quick meditation session: the shower, an evening stroll through my neighborhood, holding a sleeping baby (who refuses to sleep anywhere other than my arms)… I just take 10 deep, mindful breaths. That totally counts, right? 
10. Savasana... I remember that!

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Read a few more of my thoughts on ego over on my blog for Yoga Journal.

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If you ever want to reveal your ego and smash it to smithereens, I can give you some pointers.

Here's what you do:

Enroll in your first yoga class after giving birth.

Don't bother reading the workshop description because it's the only one that fits into your schedule and you know you can handle it because you've been practicing at home. (Ha!)

Unroll your yoga mat next to a mirror. Take note of your squishy postpartum belly. Be glad you wore black.

When you realize the point of the workshop is to demonstrate how a difficult fitness class (instead of asana) can also be yoga, stay and try to do everything.

When you realize you're not as strong as you thought you were... Modify, modify, modify!

Pretend the breast milk that drips onto your yoga mat is just sweat. (What? It's an antiseptic.) Be glad you wore black again. 

Spend the last 15 minutes in Child's Pose smiling to yourself because you know you get to go home to the sweetest baby girl and a little momentary squishiness and physical weakness is SO worth it. Thank goodness I know that yoga isn't about the poses (or how you look in Spandex). Thank goodness I can laugh at myself.

While I was physically not at all ready for my first yoga class back, I definitely needed to hear the message from teachers Kathryn Budig and Elli Boland-- the importance of positive affirmations, I am in control of my destiny, and I'm stronger than I think (mentally, anyway). Indeed.

Thanks, ladies!

I survived!

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Here's a little ditty I wrote during my recovery from childbirth (to the tune of "On the Road Again" by Willie Nelson".

On the mat again -
Just can't wait to get on the mat again.
The life I love is moving, stretching, breathing.
And I can't wait to get on the mat again.

Tryin' poses that I've never done.
My mid-section like a rag I wrung.
And I can't wait to get on the mat again. 



Thanks, Willie!

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1. My other teacher says you should never do it that way..

2. OUCH! My back!! ...(Teacher comes running)... Just kidding. Bahahahaha!

3. Don't touch that. My fungus might be contagious.

4. You're really flexible.. I bet your husband likes that.

5. It may not look like, but my shoulders ARE relaxed. Promise.

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Image: Funny-Potato.com

I happen to think my yoga teachers are pretty funny. And thank goodness for that! When teachers tell jokes in class, it lightens the mood and sometimes puts things into perspective when you're struggling through a pose you find difficult or uncomfortable (or just plain hate!).

Here are a few of my favorite yoga teacher jokes.

1. Sink your front thigh deeper and think to yourself, what if the Hokey Pokey really is what it's all about.

2. How many Iyengar students does it take to changes a light bulb? Only one, but she'll need four blankets, a chair, six blocks, and two straps.

3. Another Chaturanga? If you insist!

4. Close your eyes. If you can still see me, it could be a sign that your eyes are still open.

5. What does a dyslexic cow say? Oooommmm.

I'd love to hear your favorite yoga teacher jokes, too! Please add them by commenting below!

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