"Things fall apart,
Shit hits the fan,
Yoga is for Peter Pans,
But what one gives up,
Eventually comes around."
Totally useless haiku by Nobel Ang
1:00 p.m. CDT
Monday May 7th 2012
Gosh... at work the last few days, shit has been hitting the fan so hard that I can barely see amidst all this slimy, gooey stickiness. I'm not going to go into the details here, but try to picture a shitload of excrement spewing from the A-hole of the universe, hitting a rapidly moving wind turbine, sending said excrement ricocheting in all possible directions in my corner of the universe. Get the picture?
Of course, if one wants to be yogic or Buddhist (or whatever) about it, one would say that there are times when there is so much shit pent up in a particular corner of the universe that if it doesn't come out, it will only fester and become toxic and really, really kill you later on. This is quite definitely one of those times. But while it's all very nice to be yogic or Buddhist (or whatever) about it, it still doesn't change the stinky, slimy ugliness of the shit in the all-too-present immediacy of its visceral hitting-the-fan glory. Ha! Talk about living in the moment...
This is definitely not the best of blogging times here at Yoga in the Dragon's Den, if you haven't already noticed, what with the low volume of posts being generated lately, and with the rather shitty nature of the few that do come out (pun totally intended). But perhaps there are still a couple of yogic insights that may yet be gleaned from such lean times. Yesterday, I was having a rather candid conversation with my close friend L. L and I have known each other for years, so much so that we are often quite comfortable saying things to each other in a brutally honest, pull-no-punches kind of way. In a way, I do appreciate this: L often serves as my reality check. Anyway, here's how yesterday's conversation went, roughly:
L: Sorry to hear about the hard times you are going through at work. Mind if I say something not so nice?
Nobel: Sure.
L: I know that this yoga thing is the love of your life and all that. And that's great. But you do spend a lot of time practicing yoga (not to mention blogging about it). And you also take time off to go to those workshops with Kino, etc. And your employers know about your yoga workshop trips. Sure, you can say that what you do in your own time is your own business, and none of your employer's... but I can't help thinking that your employers are thinking that you are less serious about your work or less committed to it because of all this time that you are spending pursuing your hobby. And now I hear you are going to India for a month during the summer. Don't you think that maybe if you don't spend so much time and energy pursuing your yoga dreams, you might well be further along in your career now?
Nobel:...
L: I mean, do you think all this is working out to your favor?
Nobel: Yeah... why not?
L: Don't you think you need to grow up? Maybe you need to get real, and get your priorities straight. After all, you are just barely starting out in your career...
I honestly don't really remember exactly how the conversation proceeded after this point; I mean, it was civil and all, but I kind of blanked out around the time I heard the words "grow up." But maybe this is just as well: I don't think I need to bore you with the nitty-gritty details of the rest of the conversation...
Wow. Grow up, eh? Right now, I feel kind of like the Peter Pan of Ashtanga... or maybe Ashtanga yoga is really yoga for Peter Pans, anyway: I mean, think about all these senior teachers that look like they are in their thirties even though they are actually in their fifties... get the picture?
I gave up trying to impress people so they would put me on TV.
I gave up trying to get people to think I was important enough so they would publish my books.
I gave up trying to start the perfect new business.
I gave up trying to be the best father in the world.
I gave up trying to be something I wasn’t to my friends and family.
I gave up everything. I was going to die.
And I looked around and saw that many people wanted to give up but I suspected were afraid to. Maybe, like me, they were afraid they would be less happy, that less people would like them, that they would be invited to have less opportunities, that they would make less money. That fear, by itself, was actually doing the opposite – it was keeping the boundaries of their existence tightly wrapped around their egos."
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